


you know i know by the weight of your head on my chest (tonight, this is enough)

by leifstroganoff



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Movie Night, Mutual Pining, but mostly yearning, idiots to lovers, im very bad tagging things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25871080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leifstroganoff/pseuds/leifstroganoff
Summary: Leif tries not to watch him throughout the day. He really does. He finds out he’s not very good at trying not to do things. (alternate summary: Leif and Tobin are dumbasses, but Tobin has just enough braincells to shake Leif by the shoulders and make him confront his feelings)
Relationships: Tobin Batra/Leif Donnelly
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	you know i know by the weight of your head on my chest (tonight, this is enough)

**Author's Note:**

> did i do this instead of working on my many, many, many (and i mean MANY) WIPs? yes. do i regret it? not at all im yearning and i needed an outlet

Leif tries not to watch him throughout the day. He really does. He tries not to notice how it makes his jawline look just a little more clear cut the further he pushes his hair back. He tries not to notice the dimples that form when he smiles around a mouthful of food during their lunch break. He tries not to let his mind linger on the tingling skin around his neck when he throws an arm around his neck during a particularly long-winded goof. 

Then again, he also tried not to have feelings for his best friend and look where that got him. He finds out he’s not very good at trying not to do things. 

So, he stops trying. The next day he lets himself indulge. He lets his eyes catch on the little bit of stomach that shows when he stretches in his chair. He lets his eyes fall on his lips when he’s laughing at his own stupid joke. He lets himself watch as the afternoon sunlight bounces off his skin at just the right angle to make him look absolutely radiant.

And he feels _guilty._ He feels creepy and weird and he hates the little pit that opens up in his stomach, because he knows he wouldn’t feel the same way looking at a girl. Or if it was _anyone_ but Tobin, for that matter. It would just be a crush. He would just be indulging in the little joys that come with liking someone.

But that flutter in his stomach whenever Tobin smiles his stupidly bright smile at him has been there since high school. He thought he’d learned how to deal with it, that he’d repressed those feelings as far back as they could possibly be repressed. But recently, he’s found his stomach tightening up and his cheeks flushing anytime Tobin makes physical contact with him (which turns out to be quite often; he’s never stopped to consider exactly how touchy they are with each other until he has to confront this). 

“What are we watching tonight?” 

“Hm?” He’s torn out of his own head by Tobin’s voice, turning his head to see him leaning on the side of his desk.

“Movie night. Don’t tell me you forgot…”

He definitely did. 

“No, of course not.” His hand goes out for a jovial hit on his upper arm, his shoulders instantly relaxing when the pseudo-disappointed look falls off Tobin’s face. “Uh, I don’t really care what we watch, you pick. Nothing sad?” 

“Baller. I won’t disappoint.” He does a small set of finger guns before heading over to the cereal bar and Leif _really_ tries not to smile and to ignore the butterflies that that causes. He _really, really_ tries. And he _really, really_ fails.

* * *

“Popcorn?”

“Check.”

“Movie?”

“Check.”

“Pizza roll--” He has to pause, making sure he’s reading the list correctly. His eyes move up to the kitchen doorway where Tobin’s head is poking out, waiting expectantly. “Pizza roll nachos? Is that what that smell is?”

“Yes. And check.”

“Carrots and bell peppers?”

Tobin rolls his eyes, but checks the fridge and pulls them out anyways.

“Check. Unfortunately.”

“You’re really gonna make fun of me for eating vegetables when you’re about to put _that_ in your body?”

He walks into the kitchen and gestures at the monstrosity of cheese, beans, pizza rolls, and tortilla chips that lies on a baking sheet. 

“Hey, _this_ is a delicacy. A Batra special recipe. It has love and care put into every bite. In short… don’t knock it before you try it, asshole.” 

“It looks like heartburn on a tray.”

“More for me.” 

And there’s that stupid, dumb smile again. Goddammit. 

By the time he’s gotten over his freaking _swooning,_ Tobin’s already started carrying food into the living room and he figures he should at least help. He grabs the vegetables and the bowl of popcorn and follows him. They both set everything down on the coffee table and Tobin plops down onto the couch. 

He wordlessly grabs the DVD from where Tobin’s removed it from their collection, setting it in front of the TV. He doesn’t read the title until he’s putting it in the DVD player.

_“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?”_

“Hey, you never said it had to be a good movie.”

“I - Hm,” He starts an indignant comment, probably something about how it’s _June,_ but when he turns his head over his shoulder Tobin’s got his best ‘I’m not guilty, officer’ smile on and _damn it,_ he really can’t be mad. “Fair.” 

He finishes setting up the player and realizes Tobin’s laying across the entire couch. 

“C’mon, dude, scooch.”

The shit-eating grin is almost enough for an eye roll, but he does move his legs with minimal prodding. It all feels horribly domestic, which does nothing for the pit in his stomach that’s only gotten bigger.

The FBI warning plays as Leif sits down and props his legs up on the coffee table. Ten minutes in, he yawns. Twenty minutes, he finds himself rubbing at his temple where he’s been ignoring an oncoming headache. Thirty minutes, his head is lolling to the side but he’s intent to stay awake, blinking his eyes in an attempt to keep them open. Forty minutes, his head has slid down onto Tobin’s shoulder and his breathing has evened out.

When he slowly blinks awake, there are two Santas on the screen and a whole factory has been built, so he promptly gives up on even pretending to understand the movie. It takes him a second to process that when he fell asleep, Tobin’s arm was not around him, rubbing absently at his shoulder, and there was not a blanket on top of them. _Now,_ both of those things are true.

He thinks briefly of pretending not to have woken up. Of letting himself relish in the casual intimacy that he’s sure will break as soon as Tobin knows he’s awake. But that feels cheap. That makes the pit bigger and he’d really, really like the pit to go the opposite way.

So, he groans and palms at his eyes, letting the yawn that’s been in the back of his throat come out, as he sits up.

“Sorry, dude. I must just be,” Another yawn, proving his point. “Really tired.” 

The credits are rolling now and Tobin’s not moved his arm. Why hasn’t he moved his arm?

“You’re good, bro. Looks like you needed it.”

The ghost of a smile on Tobin’s face is knowing and Leif’s gut twists uneasily. Something doesn’t feel right and he really can’t place what’s wrong. 

He doesn’t have a chance to contemplate it because, while he was busy focusing on the anxiety swirling around from his stomach into his chest, Tobin’s leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips, his hand moving to cup Leif’s jaw and _what?_ Absolutely no part of Leif was ready to process this. 

He freezes. He wants to kiss back, he wants to grab at his hoodie and pull him close and never let him go, but his brain is moving too fast and the room feels like it’s spinning and he _freezes._

“Dude, I’m - I’m sorry,” Tobin’s pulled away, the arm that was around him now being used to prop himself up against the back of the couch, worried eyes looking into Leif’s blank ones. “I thought you were giving off these, I don’t know, these ‘there’s something there’ vibes these past few days. _Clearly_ I was wrong and I just totally crossed a line and I’d really appreciate it if you said something, cause you look _catatonic, bro.”_

There’s a beat of silence where Tobin doesn’t really know what to do before Leif’s face scrunches together and he shakes his head, clearing the fog that had seeped into his brain. 

_“Holy shit.”_

“Holy shit? Good holy shit or bad holy shit?”

He doesn’t respond, instead grabbing Tobin’s hoodie at the neckline and initiating another kiss. It’s rough and their teeth clash together, but this time it’s mutual, and he doesn’t think anything could feel better. As much as he doesn’t want to, he pulls away. 

“Uh, _‘holy shit’_ holy shit? You are…” His hand moves to the back of his neck, fingers splaying upwards and finding themselves intertwined with soft, black hair. “Very good at reading vibes, huh?”

“I’m gonna assume I didn’t misread them, then?” 

“No, you are… very vibe literate. There have been so many vibes.” 

“Mhm, I could read your vibes some more.” 

Tobin presses another quick kiss to his lips, moving his mouth to the corner of his lips and then down to his jaw.

“That’s not… nearly as sexy as I think you think it was.” 

“Your mom’s not nearly as - no, nah, that joke didn’t work.”

He draws away from his jaw to look Leif in the eyes with a lazy smile.

“Were you really about to make a ‘your mom’ joke while trying to initiate making out?” 

“You’re the one that’s hard right now, dude, I think that’s your own issues you gotta work through.” 

“Mhm,” He presses another kiss to his lips. “I can’t believe I’ve liked you since high school.” 

Tobin’s body language softens immediately, head tilting to the side. 

“You’ve liked me since high school?”

 _Crap._ Was that too real? They’ve only been a thing for approximately two minutes and they’ve not even had the ‘defining the relationship’ talk. Maybe he should’ve omitted exactly how long he’s been pining.

“Uh… _Yeah?”_ His voice is cracked around the edge, unsure, and the anxiety is stirring in his stomach again and he can already feel his heartbeat speeding in his chest until Tobin presses a quick kiss to his cheek.

“That’s kind of adorable.”

While _‘adorable’_ is very far from the word he’d use to describe it, he can’t quite hide the relief he feels, body relaxing into the couch and a small huff of a laugh passing through his lips. 

“I thought two years of having a crush was pretty pathetic, but in true Leif fashion, you’ve got me beat.”

“Two years? Why didn’t you say anything?”

The face Tobin makes is dumbfounded, his eyebrows raised and mouth open in mock disbelief. 

“Why didn’t _I_ say anything? High school, dude. _High school._ You don’t get to ask why _I_ didn’t say anything.”

Well, he does have a point. 

“I’m glad you did. Say something. Or… _do something,_ I guess.”

His hand plays absently with Tobin’s fingers where their hands rest between the two of them. 

“I’m glad I did, too.” His eyes move up from watching lengthy fingers play with shorter ones, resting for a second on the icy blue eyes looking back before closing the distance between them again. 

The rest of the night is spent talking. About themselves, about how they feel, about inane, inconsequential stuff that doesn’t really matter, but they would both give anything to just keep listening to the other one talk and keep seeing each other’s eyes light up with laughter and joy. So, they do.

**Author's Note:**

> idk how many ways i can say this comments make me very happy and i WILL re-read and re-read and re-read them until i have them memorized


End file.
